venting?

I guess when i started all of this years ago, i didnt expect it to turn out this way. i resort to writing and hiding when i feel like i have meaningless comments to make or when i dont want anyone to hear what i have to say. i think im going to utilize this site again, since giving up my other site which is kind of like giving up my best friend sean, i need something to fall back on. he is the only one who knew about that site and now that we said "goodbye" i dont feel as though it would be fair to either of us if i continued to use it. some of my friends know about another website i use so i dont like to go there alot either other than picture blogging, words and paragraphs are what really matter to me and id like to keep those a little bit more private. im not a mess anymore; at least not nearly as much. i think i have found some more dignity and strength inside me. i can go through a day without thinking in the past and that has been probably my biggest accomplishment lately. i dont make regrets and i believe that things happen for a reason. but you make your own fate; so sometimes its hard for me to believe whats meant to be will always find its way.i know that i have a lot to say and i know that i talk a lot of nonsense but that is just me i suppose. i havent been able to say that i have girl friends in years but i now have the closest set of friends in my life. i wouldnt have made it these last few months without them to be able to fall back on. my past relationships have created me into the person i am today, along side with my family. the strength its taken me to pull myself out of the ditches ive fallen and been pushed into, gives me some hope that i have become somewhat the person i always wanted to turn out to be. back in highschool, i was alone; but i allowed myself to be. ive let more people down in my life than i thought i could imagine, but mostly myself. im proud of myself sometimes, il admit that; but sometimes i wont let myself get caught up in the moment. im okay with where im at right now, im content with the person ive become and who ive surrounded myself with and who ive cut out from my life.