to new beginnings...

i have been realizing that i dont need to blog in order to feel good, i dont even have the urge to write anymore, im truely happy; so i am really hoping that this lasts and suceeds rather than fails miserably. im hoping for the best but expecting the worst. i think that people see us sometimes; and know that our relationship somehow; oddly just works. and i dont know why or how this happend or how we actually got here, but who we are together and seperatly makes me happy. im content with who i am today and i am content with who i spend my time with and who i am dating. dave cares, and laughs and knows how to have fun. i feel like neither of us have ever pretended to be different than who we really are to impress eachother, we dont care that we are both absolutly gross and i love that. i love that i actually feel like i have a relationship where people want to be like us sometimes. we have our fights and our problems just like anyone else but i feel like we always work it out one way or another, and lately we have been getting better talking things through without pulling it out of one another. dave has replaced the spot in my life and heart that was broken, and although he has hurt me; we all make our mistakes and things could be worse. i no longer have that one person that knows my whole life story, i no longer can say that i have a bestfriend who pops into my life when i least expect him to just to see how i am, i can no longer say that i have faith in that friendship anymore, and sometimes i believe it is for the best but than somedays i truely think that i need him to be apart of my life one way or another. but somehow dave has stepped into this place, as a bestfriend, as a boyfriend and as a support system. he has been there since before day one, with the biggest secret of my life, he was there for me when i least expected him to be. i am fine with losing these few people because i have gained so many better people for myself. i have finally surrounded myself with a strong set of individuals that will keep me stong as well. dear sean, my life is moving forward, without you. you know that this is all i have ever wanted for the last 6 years. if you chose to one day catch up, i will let you in like i always do; as nothing has happend. you will remain apart of my life forever, just like i promised. but just remember this is because i am a better person than you, i will and have always been a stronger and better individual and i will continue this for the rest of my life. because of you; i blog, because of you; i have given up and because of you; i continue to constantly move forward. it is finally time to let you go.