really.

i should probably jot down some thoughts before i forget them.
i dont think of you differently, i dont love you any less. im too old to play along with the games, i dont deserve to be ignored for your fuck up. be upset but dont blame me. have the balls to talk to me dont just ignore me like were in middle school. dont wait around bc im giving up on you and i hate myself for it. it disgusts me that you went to a handful of people rather than me. my lifes not a joke anymore, i need to care about myself more than i have been. i passed the baby games; this is serious and i dont see you taking it that way. the beginning issue is no longer the largest issue anymore. i refuse to be pushed aside and shit on. i care more about you than you will ever know, i dont care who says they care about you; i top them, i would literally do anything to help you and be there when you needed. but again; im not the one you want next to you when you need someone most.