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i think that in my destination of finding my happiness, i am letting the stress of everything around me get the best of me. lately, the past, present and future is all hitting me at once and i dont know exactly what it is thats wrong, but there is something inside my head thats holding me back inside again. my heart and my head is closed off again and im not sure of what to do about it; youd think after all this time, id know how to handle this situation but i have not learned yet. seems to be a trend that i havent learned anything yet. i once again, i want to just be by myself, you know just left alone liek usual; i know that there are cool people out there who want to be my friend, but i know who i am and who i want to be and i have worked hard towards this reputation i have/had.. that is until i got together with david and now; i seem to be someone different to everyone i used to be surrounded with. and that i do not like, i want to be known as who ive always been and no i dont care what people think of me and i dont care if someone likes me or not, but im tired of being made fun of by the ones who i thought were my closest friends; i guess you really learn who your true friends are and who are your aquainences. im afraid of being walked all over again and im afraid that i am just going to give in to pleasing everybody again and this will not lead me in the right direction. i am just going to worry about myself, and keep moving forward like i always do; i refuse to be left behind.