truth. i wish i could live up to what i always wanted myself to be. but in reality all i do is lie. im scared of everything around me now. and not only am i hating it but im hating life all over again. travis i talked to you today for the first time in a real long time. you made me laugh but it felt like we were back at the days where we were bff, brother sister. and thats how i want it to be. you promised to call me back when you left me. and to my surprise you didnt let me down. i thank you. sean made me choose between him and trav. if i talk to trav within the next at least three months then he will leave. this life im living is bullshit but i dont deserve better. and sean, well he does. this life isnt what i expected and the summer goals i wrote are going to turn out and be lifetime goals. i can not accomplish them in this short of a time let, in fact i dont think i will ever be able to finish them all. this is my life now. a lie. a hypocrite. all fears. and i hate it but nothing unusualto hate myself. i accomplished a heart in my hand today, throbbing pain. no regrets and il never regret it. i wont forget what it is for. the heart is for travis and sean, the boys who brought me into the world and made me complete opposite people. the two boys who ment something to me and i made mistakes over. the two boys who hated eachother and loved me. the two boys who i had to chose over in the end. the world wont stop. life isnt short enough.
get to know me.
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