blink 182

"When I needed you most when I needed a friend, you let me down now like I let you down then" -Blink 182

truth. all i want is to see travis. all i want is to be able to hangout with him and not let everyone down. i cant let go of him. the one boy who was my bestfriend and stayed by my side when everything got messed up. he will stay by my side until the day i die, whether or not everyone else likes it, thats their fault. i let you down before and stopped talking to you i listened to someone else instead of myself. and now you are paying me back for what ive done. i say that its not fair. i say that i wish you would change to your old self. the boy i fell in love with for how funny caring and considerate you were. but it has all changed for drugs. and im not saying im not to blame. it started changing when i got this new boyfriend. all i want is to see you happy and clean. i want to be by your side through it all. i promised id chose you and thats what i did and thats what im going to continue to do. but dont let me down. i need to prove to them all that you can change and that you will change for me. i need to prove them all wrong about you. i need to prove to them that you care about me more than just being alive. that you care who i am without and with you.

"I don't trust him. We're friends." - Bertolt Brecht

truth. if i could have trusted you in the beginning i could have had you. i could have been able to be with you and trusted that you wouldnt break me apart, and that you would care enough to change that part of you. im not able to change my lifestyle because of the way you are. i need you to be my friend. but when we were and when we do talk about being together you and i both know that we cant because i cant trust you no matter what you say and no matter how many times you tell me and reassure me that you will change yourself and you would never hurt me. the reason why we are just friends is because you have changed to much and i dont want to give you my whole heart. i wouldnt want you to hold it in your hands because you wont be to delicate with it at all.you will throw it around like a toy and im scared of getting my heart broken. i cant chance what your capable of.