Still to this day; I'm left so alone. It's been three weeks sense you've been gone and i still catch myself thinking about you everyday- I still catch myself trying to text and call you just to tell you something dumb. Tmrw is graduation; I know you'll be there. I know you'll float across that stage with the biggest smile on your face because you did it seany. You finished I just wish you were here with me to be able to continue on. I wish I could go back and help you more. I wish I could make you listen to me; make you tell me you love me back more. Help you understand I would do anything for you because I truly wanted you to have the best life you could have possible. I wish I was with you- I wish you took me along for this new journey of yours. Maybe that's selfish of me; but then again I know you understand. I can't imagine my life without you here; my life doesn't make sense without you in it. I'm not the same person I was at 15 and now, I'm not the same perpsn I was a month ago. You've helped guide me through my whole life. We grew up together; you helped mold me without even really knowing it. You may have needed me I your life; but I needed you just as much. I still do. It hurts more and more knowing I won't have you back and realizing little by little that your really gone. I don't want another week without you; let alone 40+ years. This isn't fair; not for your family, not to you and not to me. I loved you more than anyone could understand; I still do. It's hard to have what we have and have seen what you let get ahold of you. It was hard to be there because I knew you deserved so much more. I now am left speechless with what my next move is. I'm completely lost without you and I know at some points in our lives we didn't see eye to eye and you thought I was dramatic with things. But I really appreciate you. I really need you back, we all do. I know it's hard for you to show yourself and give me signs that your still here with me but I need to know your still flying next to me. I need to know that your here- to stabilize myself in this situation. I couldn't be more proud of you; I couldn't be more proud to call you my best friend and soul mate thus far. I don't see this getting any better or any easier. I just don't see myself getting out of this and being normal Shelby still. I know You wouldn't want anything less, but I just don't think I can honestly come out of this without help. I need you seany. I will never be the same. I love you forever