I shouldn't have to say goodbye. Knowing you were 20 feet from me today is heartbreaking, seeing how many people truly loved you and wanted the best for you is heartbreaking. Why did you leave me? Leave us? I know you didn't want this; you couldn't have. This was a mistake, something you didn't mean to do. I always saw the best in you; I always take the benefit of the doubt, because your such a genuine person. I'm so proud of the non judgmental person you became when you went away but I wish you could have came out stronger. You always made fun of me for believing everything happens for a reason but I honestly believe god knew you couldn't live in this world without me; and there wasn't enough room in this world for the both of us. But little does he know; this is the single most hardest thing I have had to go through. Half of me is missing; half of me is dead. I can't live however many years without you in my life; I've had you for 10 years but I expected and hoped for 40 more. You know me better than I know myself and I know that what we had is unexplainable. It doesn't settle well with me; knowing I won't have my best friend, first love and crutch to lean on ever again. Please watch over us; I know you hear me; I know you hate yourself for putting us through this; I'm not mad at you seany, just devastated that il never have another conversation or hug from you again. Please wait for me; open the doors for me when it's my time to go. I belong wherever you are. You and I both know that. I love you so much cutie. Il see you someday. Don't make me wait too long.