I think I am different from everyone else, like there is absolutely no kne that is remotely alike me. I feel like I make fun people but I feel romorse for the moat part. Im hard to get along with and I'm a mess alot, I get into moods where I just want to be by myself and sometimes well most of the time I want to be alone. Im a self person and I'm not sure how I've gotten here. I miss my bestfriend well my not bestfriend sometimes but I'm glad that our "relationship" if you could even call it that; is where it's at. I'm hopeful that this will be the prop in the door for our friendship finally and someday the door will open back up again and we will be our bestfriend selves again. I'm afraid of my heart, and my relationship with David. I love him so much, more than anything and that scares me most bc I'm afraid that il get hurt again and I won't know what to do with myself. I'm afraid I will have to pick myself up again and I will fail at it. I'm afraid of being let down and I'm afraid to love Again. I'm scared to let someone back in that much again and I dont know what il have if I ever do get hurt again or who will be there for me. I'm afraid that I won't have anyone all over again. I know that I have these things called friends but Mary and dave are the closest things to friends that I have Harbin years. David makes me forget about Sean and how bad I was hurt he makes me feel safe again and strong. I have not felt this much for another human being in 6 years and I don't know of I'm ready for it; but it's here.