I can't believe it's been over a year without seeing you Sean. I pray everyday that I'll see you in my dreams or in people on the street again but I know you won't let me. I am forever great fun for this life you've given me. Because the truth is I owe you everything. You taught me how to love and than taught me how to love myself. You gave me this incredible strength that I never knew I had. Losing you has been the single worst thing that's happened in my life- it's been the hardest thing I've ever gone through but God obviously had better plans for you. You are the one person who has single handedly pushed me through my whole life. Whether it be in spite of you or because of you- Ive grown into this person with the help of you. I miss you so much cutie. I miss my best friend and I miss the only person who actually saw me for who I was and still put me above on a pedestal. I missed the real you and I was so happy that you gave me the opportunity to see that side of you one last time before you left us. I'm lucky to have your family who always keeps me involved and who treats me like I'm apart of your family and says that you're apart of me. Sometimes it's hard to believe that becuase you never visit me- it's hard to believe you want to be here with me. But it's impossible that you're not when all of this stuff is happening to me. School, work, everyday good luck, Matthew just everything I know you've had apart in throwing all these things at me and I know it's just your way of making sure I am okay and that I get better and get over you. It's your way of making sure that I don't grieve and wait my whole life for someone who isn't and can't come back to me. You've given me a second chance at love - real love with a real person, someone who you think is good enough for me. I know you've thrown Matt in my direction as crazy as it sounds. I thank you for everything you've done for me- you put me first everyday to make sure that the rest of my life without you is the best it can be. I will see you again someday but don't make me wait forever for you to visit me. Thank you for giving me a chance at love again and making me see thy I can have a life and love and family and grow without you physically because there was a point where I didn't think I would. You are forever my soulmate and my forever best friend, you are the most important thing I've had this far to impact my life- everyone knows that but I will never be silent about you. I will never not talk about you or feel bad that I had a love before this one because your life deserved to be remembered, our life together as friends and a couple deserves to be remembered. I love you so much junior. Keep watching over me I hope you're proud of the woman I'm becoming and know that I am so appreciative of Matthew and the love you've let me give out again. Stay smiling my love. See you soon than. Xoxo