f off.

some of us have potential, but i gave up a long time ago. i have really given up on my life and i shouldnt keep this up. i just want to take care of myself and i have to make myself succeed. i need everything to change and i dont think its going to, im meeting all these new people who are great and genuine and kind hearted and i have really surrounded myself with such great people. and i have been trying so hard to push out the bad but i am just getting distracted again, i have to let it all go, i need it all to stay in the past i dont need this i dont need to go through all of this again, i am too young, we all are to go through all of this and that means that i was deffinitely way to young to think the way that i did. i should love my life, and look around me and take everything in slowly but i dont except for those few moments. i need to get my life in order and its just not happening for me. i dont think that it is in the cards for me. all i am trying to do is take care of myself and i am just letting myself get distracted time and time again and i dont even know why i do it. i dont deserve it and i shoudl realize that but i know that i am not worth getting better. i watch all these movies and shows and i see happiness and i know that i could have that, that i should have that but i dont see it happening for me. ive grown up living like this and i shouldnt have. i should have so much more life than this, i should have more feelings for myself and care for my well being. im overrated and i know that i wont make it, but as long as i keep saying i am fine, it will be true; i believe myself, i have to make myself believe it.