I've had a hard time going through Sean jr pictures especially the ones that were fantastic days. Sean let me grow and go through the awkward stages of clothing, styles , hair changes and whatever else I threw at him. He loved me for the exact person that I was and am and it's been really rough finding someone who I know will do the same. I don't expect someone to replace Sean but I expect someone to treasure and respect my past and my love and heart just as much as he has. I will always somewhat hold a standard now for myself. Because I know how much I've been loved before; I know how much of a best friend I had by my side while going through life and growing up and will never settle for something less. I miss junior so much. It gets harder and harder losing his presence in my everyday life. I just pray Matt or whoever I do end up with for the rest of my life can understand and support me in my choices on how to keep Sean alive within me and thoughts I have on keeping him in my memory. I can't believe this has happened and more often times than none do I catch myself trying to understand how I even have the strength to get through life without him. I don't know how it's even been this long because I can't imagine going on without him. You talk to someone everyday, know everything about them and grew as people together, having someone you know would take a bullet for you and someone who loves you so much that they'd send a wonderful guy in my life and let me learn how to love again and they're not actually by your side anymore; you don't get to talk to them or hug them or cry with them or tell them how you feel or how your day was. Everyday has been hard without my bestfriend, every day's been hard to handle the change without my person. But I owe him everything that came out of this past year. I love you Jr. Il see you soon than. Xoxo