You don't know the first thing about love or a relationship. You have me broken, again and I literally have no idea what to do. I don't remember the last time we had a good night or the last time I went to bed without crying or without my stomach in knots. I feel like I'm losing you or that I've already lost you and your just holding onto this because you want to be strong enough to prove a point to her. Why do you have to pull my along for the rise; I'm not a toy im just a girl just a person who is pathetically in love with you. This is all something that you will never take note of or see without it being brought to your attention. I'm completely tired of what's behind and to be honest what's ahead of me. I've been pushed backwards yet again and it's something that I can't imagine happening. I'm not myself and that's something that doesn't settle well inside. All I have is myself; I push people away to distance myself because I have no other choice. I just want my thoughts to be to myself not only bc I don't trust anyone but because my words and thoughts and these stupid websites couldn't mean less to anyone else other than myself. I don't have anyone to talk to, not a single person. The closest person I have in mind is jimmy and I'm not even sure why.