Today

If I was handed my computer and some along time an hour ago this page would be filled with sappy words that on most days don't bother me. Like I have said so many times in the past; Sean is gone, my memory of him hasn't disappeared but my thought of him are diminished to almost never. I'm scared of how much I care for Dave, how much I love him; it's almost not okay with me; too much for comfort. I'm afraid of being disappointed again and lost, of being left behind and being taken for granite, for being taken advantage of and being hurt all over again. I feel like a 15 year old girl who is only being cautious of her heart. I don't want to talk about how I feel because I'm afraid of being vulnerable; it embarrasses me to think that I could yet again be completely destroyed in a matter of seconds. I can't go through this again; I need to finally find something to keep me grounded; I need someone to make me believe in lasting love again.