ive grown into this person, who i believe to be the "real" me, i wont be walked all over, i care about people far too much than i should. i forgive but i never forget and i always hold a grudge. i fell in love at 15 and i havent been the same since than. ive been hurt time and time again, so its a wonder why i always run or walk out on people when they want to fix things. this time; with david, im trying and i have so far been successful. were not perfect; like most things, we are alike in so many ways but i think that sometimes, well most the time, thats what brings us our hardest fights. i know that my intentions arent always honorable but i have never acted upon them, so i understand why he doesnt appreciate me talking to greg. when i talk to greg our conversations are just fun, and i am instantly in a better mood. i talk to him about personal things without all the detail because although i feel like a "patient" of his, i know that because he is a psychologist that he knows what im going through and how to help me. greg is a great person and he will make someone one of the luckiest girls in the world, but that girl will not be me. just for now, its nice to have someone who can cheer you up as an outsider who doesnt know any of my friends. i cant give up my friends bc of some boy again, especially one who has cheated on me. i can no longer take my life with time, bc although in reality i have all the time in the world, i dont feel like i do. i need to take my life and get it together, i dont have the time to waste on people who dont actually care about me anymore. for the last five years all i have done is look for somebody to help me and make me feel complete and better, and after all of that finding and believeing i found that person, i was let down. it takes a toll out of you after this long. i thought i left that life behind me when i left sean, but apparently reliving my past is always going to occur. ive let it go, so why cant i move forward?