always and forever.

to say " I miss you" would be enough, it wouldnt do it justice. They say the good die young; but I'm not quite sure thats true, To me, and most of us who knew you, thought the world of you. To most of us who got to know the real Sean, we were the lucky ones. But those who got the Sean who was too cool, too high, too good for anyone I feel for you. It is no secret how important he is in my life, how much I appreciate him and how much credit I give him for the person I've become. There are days where I am so thankful for the opportunity to have known Sean at all and there are also days where I'm not sure I will ever see happiness again. I am still a work in progress, trying to get passed this everyday. I am beyond lucky to have fallen in love again and to be with someone who loves me back, who doesn't drag me through the bullshit and who tries to be as supportive as Matthew is. But I want so badly to be as in love and feel as in love and as passionate as i know that I have before and I dont want to settle for something less. So everyday yes, I miss Sean. and Yes, everyday I cry and think about what could have been, I think about where I'd be, who I would be and be with if he were still here. If I would have given up on helping him, or if it would have continued to bring us closer. I dwell on this past, because it was supposed to be my future, because it was always supposed to be my forever, I dwell because it mattered, and I cared. I dwell because Sean mattered and I dont want to ever forget that I am this woman, this humble girl, this caring, loving girlfriend because at 15 I fell in love for the first time, and it was the best and worst experience of my life. Everything about Sean and Shelby mattered, and it always will.